“BECAUSE I’LL CUT YOUR FUCKING THROAT!  That’s why.”

I decided today that i didn’t care to wear my usual “butch” clothing.  I just didn’t want to.  I felt the need to get up, put some spandex pants on and go for a jog with my mom.  You drove by in your red pickup and marked us an easy target.  “Whooo!”  Words of sheer genious, i tell you.

That night i wanted to go out.  I have no idea how long it took me to shave, put on some makeup, and pull that miniskirt over my ass.  Since this isn’t a regular ritual, it took me some time.  I paid meticulous attention to every detail.  Every stroke of eyeliner was a meditative breath reflecting who i am.  But of those countless minutes, i can assure you that not one was spent for you.  Yet still, on a dark street corner i stand with a friend, going out of our way so that your path does not cross ours.  But that’s not good enough.  You drop bombs on peaceful territories.  Tonight, you lob a hand grenade across the street, “you ladies need a ride?”  You snicker with your friends.  You’ve proven your worthy of adorning your penis.  If we needed a ride, asshole, we would have driven.  And i probably wouldn’t have worn sneakers.  But i say nothing.  My friend and i link arms, look forward and hope to disappear in shadows.

But i wasn’t silent.  I whispered to myself, “i wouldn’t ask such loaded questions if i were you.”  In hopes that you would hear my faint voice.  In hopes that you would ask me why.  Why?

[tags]The Blank Noise Project blogathon, harrassment, sexism[/tags]