to my friends and readers,
just wanted to give another update since i’ve been absent for so long. as i’ve alluded to, i’ve been dealing with pretty severe depression for the past seven months. this has affected every aspect of my life, particularly those aspects that require me to interact with others in any way (work, friendships, etc). i haven’t been able to motivate myself to do much of anything, especially writing, hence my absence. i feel bad about this, i honestly do. i especially feel bad about the promises i made and didn’t follow through on.
i don’t really care to express what i’ve been going through. i feel like people who have dealt with depression already know and those that haven’t can’t possibly understand.
but the past week has provided me with a little hope. not much has changed yet, except my way of approaching things. i’ve started talking to people again; most importantly about what i’m going through. i’ve also decided to make a few life changes that i think will help. i’m on day 10 of no coffee (that’s seemed to make a pretty big difference immediately). i’m moving back to town and into a shared-living house (still looking for a room, BTW). for the past four months i’ve been living at the sanctuary (30 minutes from town). while its certainly beautiful out there, having where I work, live and volunteer all be the same place and so far away from human contact just isn’t what i need. i’ve also started looking for a therapist. unfortunately, the free clinic never returns phone calls and never picks up the phone. other things i’m doing include taking a daily vitamin and trying to eat healthier (organic, less processed foods, less sugar).
its possible that this week is just another upswing (i’ve been dealing more with manic-depression than simple depression), its hard to tell. but i’m trying to take it slow and consciously move forward with each day. i started working on a zine (pass the day: illustrations from the heart of depression) and that seems to be helping me work through some things. a friend and i (my heartbreak buddy) are also going to be starting a team zine soon that will have short stories written by her and comics by me. i’ll be sure to let yall know when they are done.
i can’t guarantee that i’ll be back to blogging on a regular basis any time soon. like i said, i’m taking it slow. i’ll see what i can do about posting at least once a week, though. i do foresee myself coming back in full force in time. my guess is that i’ll have more energy once the sun comes out again and its warm enough for me to go out and get my vitamin D.
well, just wanted to let the folks that have stuck with me though my lack up posting know where i’m at. hope everyone else is doing well.
with love,
vegankid
glad to hear your taking care of yourself, even if times are still rough.
peace,
-sly
Thanks for the update. I echo Sly’s sentiment. It’s nice to know that you’re taking steps to work on things… take care. ~E
VK- Much love from me too. I’m glad that things are looking up. I’m writing this from my phone, so this has to be short.
You keep doing what’s best for you and know that we will always be there for you.
Peace,
Kevin
Hey VK, please know that however long it takes for you to take care of yourself and to heal, I will be here with love. There’s pressure, no need to feel bad, no need to apologise. I understand and I am happy that you are taking the time you need. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Kisses
DD
yes, no “i’m sorrys” or “i feel bads” take care of yourself–and do it knowing there is NO pressure from anybody on you to do ANYTHING but take care of yourself. touching bases, even if it’s only a once a year (or so) touching bases is all I myself need.
you are much loved, much thought about, much cared for–
xoxo
take care, I admire your ability to share what you have. I send you best wished for restored health.
Yeah, I’m one of those folks to whom you don’t have to explain why depression makes you drop out of sight for a while. I’m sorry that you know the feeling too.
I’m reading pattrice jones’ Aftershock & it’s really hitting home, w/some of my own mental health issues & how important it is for people to take care of themselves wrt mental health. I’m guessing you may have read it already, but if not, maybe worth a look?
Take care of yourself. I hope things improve real soon. I know that sounds like such an empty cliched phrase, but… I’ve hoped it so desperately for myself @ times that I can’t say something like that just to put out some words.
Sweetheart, years ago, I was speaking to one of my friends trying to explain to her why I had dropped out of contact with everyone for a few months. She responded by telling me that we humans tend to forget that we are animals. In nature, many animals go into hibernation on a regular basis. It’s completely normal for us to do the same. I hope you allow yourself to ease out of this period at your own pace. Whatever I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I’m always available.
I’ve been there, too.
Glad to see you around. Hope you’re doing ok now.
–IP