to my friends and readers,

just wanted to give another update since i’ve been absent for so long. as i’ve alluded to, i’ve been dealing with pretty severe depression for the past seven months. this has affected every aspect of my life, particularly those aspects that require me to interact with others in any way (work, friendships, etc). i haven’t been able to motivate myself to do much of anything, especially writing, hence my absence. i feel bad about this, i honestly do. i especially feel bad about the promises i made and didn’t follow through on.

i don’t really care to express what i’ve been going through. i feel like people who have dealt with depression already know and those that haven’t can’t possibly understand.

but the past week has provided me with a little hope. not much has changed yet, except my way of approaching things. i’ve started talking to people again; most importantly about what i’m going through. i’ve also decided to make a few life changes that i think will help. i’m on day 10 of no coffee (that’s seemed to make a pretty big difference immediately). i’m moving back to town and into a shared-living house (still looking for a room, BTW). for the past four months i’ve been living at the sanctuary (30 minutes from town). while its certainly beautiful out there, having where I work, live and volunteer all be the same place and so far away from human contact just isn’t what i need. i’ve also started looking for a therapist. unfortunately, the free clinic never returns phone calls and never picks up the phone. other things i’m doing include taking a daily vitamin and trying to eat healthier (organic, less processed foods, less sugar).

its possible that this week is just another upswing (i’ve been dealing more with manic-depression than simple depression), its hard to tell. but i’m trying to take it slow and consciously move forward with each day. i started working on a zine (pass the day: illustrations from the heart of depression) and that seems to be helping me work through some things. a friend and i (my heartbreak buddy) are also going to be starting a team zine soon that will have short stories written by her and comics by me. i’ll be sure to let yall know when they are done.

i can’t guarantee that i’ll be back to blogging on a regular basis any time soon. like i said, i’m taking it slow. i’ll see what i can do about posting at least once a week, though. i do foresee myself coming back in full force in time. my guess is that i’ll have more energy once the sun comes out again and its warm enough for me to go out and get my vitamin D.

well, just wanted to let the folks that have stuck with me though my lack up posting know where i’m at. hope everyone else is doing well.

with love,
vegankid

You may have noticed. Spammers decided to attack my server and destroy all that they could. Luckily, my clients and a couple of fellow bloggers got away with just a couple days of drug ads on their site. However, my blog and the sanctuary got destroyed. I’ve got the blog back up and running on both sites, but in order to fix the sanctuary’s site, I have to delve into my archives. Unfortunately, shortly before the hack, my external hard drive, which houses my archives (and all of my music files), stopped working. This gives me a convenient excuse not to blog for a bit, but as you may have noticed… i haven’t really been into it lately anyway.

Times have been rough and blogging is the last thing on my mind these days. I’ll return in the future, but i’m not quite sure when. I suggest subscribing to my RSS feed so that you’ll know when I’m back.